day won.

hello. my name is andrea.

this is my blog.

this is my life.

this is my road to happy.

this today, is day one for me. I am changing my life. I've been living in my own little selfish uncontrolled impulsive dysfunctional suckfest life for too long. I've felt like a failure. Worthless. Embarrassed. Ashamed. Guilty. Sad. Depressed. Suicidal. Uncomfortable. Unhappy. Hopeless. Faithless. Hateful. and guess what. I'm done. I can't do it anymore. It's not who I want to be. It's going to be hard. But I have to know that I can do hard things. I need to do this for myself. To show myself that I'm worth something. To show myself that there is happiness and things to live for. I want to be in a good place in my life and stop living inside myself - but live to help others and feel happy doing it. I have an amazing and supportive husband. It's time I'm healthy physically and mentally so I can share in his life and his stresses and the weight of marriage - and not just leave him to deal with it all on his own.

I watched a video today. It inspired me. My friend inspired me further. We are going to start exercising six days a week together. And in nine months we are running a half marathon together. we are starting off slow. we aren't worrying about our diet yet. we are just starting. it's time to do SOMETHING. Tomorrow September 24th, 2010 we are going to exercise at the track for 35minutes. I am going to walk two mins, run one minute..and repeat 10 times. I'm going to eat some fruit first. I'm going to warm up by walking for two mins first. it's going to be awesome. I need it. My soul needs it. my spirit needs it. my heart needs it. my brain needs it. my LIFE needs it. i'm nervous. so nervous. but i'm so excited. i am going to get rid of 100 lbs by my 30th birthday - which is July 8, 2011. and also by then, I will have run a half marathon. that's effing awesome. my life will be better. I KNOW IT.

bring it on.