I realized i never actually wrote about day one - the first day we started exercising. I feel kind of like I should call it day two, even thought it was the first time we exercised, because getting inspired and committing to change my life and planning it all out - really should be day one. cuz that was the first day of my journey.
so okay. we met at the mt view track at 615 am. i ran a little walked more. we each took a video of ourselves running so we'd have it for a celebration dinner at the end of all of this. by the time we left the track the sun was rising and it the air was crisp and cold (totally my type of morning) and it was gorgeous. the colors of the sun coming up over the mountains and feeling so happy that i was actually out there DOING something just was overwhelming. it felt. incredible. I loved myself that day for the first time in i don't even know how long. it was a cool moment in my life. which might sound lame because all i did in reality was run for 4 mins total and walked for like 30. but it was my mindset and how my heart was committed to something and the fact that I was there and i was willing that made it feel so great. it really was awesome. i loved it. and i want to feel that way everyday.
Monday, September 27, 2010
day Three
monday. september 27. 6am. We met at the Mt View track again. it was darrrrk and coold. and i was scared to go into the football stadium/track alone - so luckily my partner in crime was just seconds behind me getting to the track. today was my run day since saturday was my walk day. it was really hard to get up this morning even though i went to sleep by 1030 last night. but anyway. so this is my training/exercise schedule. week 1 i am supposed to run 1 minute, walk 2 minutes - repeat 10 times. last friday, on day one, I did the running part 3 or 4 times so i decided i wanted to do it 5 times today and then walk the rest. and I did it. and it was easier to run today than the first day. sweet. too bad i ate like 4 totally delicious brownies last night and then more this morning after breakfast. :) that's okay. I didn't have a dr pepper yesterday and i won't have one today. so that's a monster sized victory for me. i've got to stay off of soda for diabetic reasons and because i'm sooooo addicted to dr pepper. like full on addicted. so yeah. i got off of it even a day sooner than I'd decided to - so I feel proud about that.
i can't wait until i've gotten rid of some weight. 20 lbs will be so cool. it will make a big difference in how my clothes fit and even in how my face looks. but i'm looking so forward to 40 lbs. it makes me so excited for 40 lbs. i'll still be a chubber chunk - but it will be the least i've weighed in 5 1/2 years. and i'll be wearing a totally smaller size than now and almost be able to shop at regular stores again. just another 20-30 lbs past that. thats awesome.
when i'm struggling and want a dp or whatever else - I just need to think about water instead and focusing on drinking as much water as i can - or envisioning what it will feel like to weigh less. and how proud i'll feel at accomplishing my goal. a dp isn't worth it. h-e-c-k no.
i can't wait until i've gotten rid of some weight. 20 lbs will be so cool. it will make a big difference in how my clothes fit and even in how my face looks. but i'm looking so forward to 40 lbs. it makes me so excited for 40 lbs. i'll still be a chubber chunk - but it will be the least i've weighed in 5 1/2 years. and i'll be wearing a totally smaller size than now and almost be able to shop at regular stores again. just another 20-30 lbs past that. thats awesome.
when i'm struggling and want a dp or whatever else - I just need to think about water instead and focusing on drinking as much water as i can - or envisioning what it will feel like to weigh less. and how proud i'll feel at accomplishing my goal. a dp isn't worth it. h-e-c-k no.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
day won.
hello. my name is andrea.
this is my blog.
this is my life.
this is my road to happy.
this today, is day one for me. I am changing my life. I've been living in my own little selfish uncontrolled impulsive dysfunctional suckfest life for too long. I've felt like a failure. Worthless. Embarrassed. Ashamed. Guilty. Sad. Depressed. Suicidal. Uncomfortable. Unhappy. Hopeless. Faithless. Hateful. and guess what. I'm done. I can't do it anymore. It's not who I want to be. It's going to be hard. But I have to know that I can do hard things. I need to do this for myself. To show myself that I'm worth something. To show myself that there is happiness and things to live for. I want to be in a good place in my life and stop living inside myself - but live to help others and feel happy doing it. I have an amazing and supportive husband. It's time I'm healthy physically and mentally so I can share in his life and his stresses and the weight of marriage - and not just leave him to deal with it all on his own.
I watched a video today. It inspired me. My friend inspired me further. We are going to start exercising six days a week together. And in nine months we are running a half marathon together. we are starting off slow. we aren't worrying about our diet yet. we are just starting. it's time to do SOMETHING. Tomorrow September 24th, 2010 we are going to exercise at the track for 35minutes. I am going to walk two mins, run one minute..and repeat 10 times. I'm going to eat some fruit first. I'm going to warm up by walking for two mins first. it's going to be awesome. I need it. My soul needs it. my spirit needs it. my heart needs it. my brain needs it. my LIFE needs it. i'm nervous. so nervous. but i'm so excited. i am going to get rid of 100 lbs by my 30th birthday - which is July 8, 2011. and also by then, I will have run a half marathon. that's effing awesome. my life will be better. I KNOW IT.
bring it on.
this is my blog.
this is my life.
this is my road to happy.
this today, is day one for me. I am changing my life. I've been living in my own little selfish uncontrolled impulsive dysfunctional suckfest life for too long. I've felt like a failure. Worthless. Embarrassed. Ashamed. Guilty. Sad. Depressed. Suicidal. Uncomfortable. Unhappy. Hopeless. Faithless. Hateful. and guess what. I'm done. I can't do it anymore. It's not who I want to be. It's going to be hard. But I have to know that I can do hard things. I need to do this for myself. To show myself that I'm worth something. To show myself that there is happiness and things to live for. I want to be in a good place in my life and stop living inside myself - but live to help others and feel happy doing it. I have an amazing and supportive husband. It's time I'm healthy physically and mentally so I can share in his life and his stresses and the weight of marriage - and not just leave him to deal with it all on his own.
I watched a video today. It inspired me. My friend inspired me further. We are going to start exercising six days a week together. And in nine months we are running a half marathon together. we are starting off slow. we aren't worrying about our diet yet. we are just starting. it's time to do SOMETHING. Tomorrow September 24th, 2010 we are going to exercise at the track for 35minutes. I am going to walk two mins, run one minute..and repeat 10 times. I'm going to eat some fruit first. I'm going to warm up by walking for two mins first. it's going to be awesome. I need it. My soul needs it. my spirit needs it. my heart needs it. my brain needs it. my LIFE needs it. i'm nervous. so nervous. but i'm so excited. i am going to get rid of 100 lbs by my 30th birthday - which is July 8, 2011. and also by then, I will have run a half marathon. that's effing awesome. my life will be better. I KNOW IT.
bring it on.
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